Logging onto my computer today, I had a different plan in my head then telling this tale. Then there was a writing prompt, one that I laughed off yesterday with a simple thought of “what kind of feature is this, a silly one that’s for sure” and with that thought 24 hours later I am a mere victim of this same silly feature. A simple question, dogs or cats? Who would have thunk this question would change my life forever? I sure as hell didn’t. But one could say the same for the moment when I begrudgingly downloaded Tinder in August of 2018. After years of online dating mishaps, switching apps and swiping through a sea of seemingly eligible bachelors I decided fuck it, at least I can make a friend or two. I had a glass of wine in one hand, and pierogis on the table as the download finished. This time, I told myself, it would be different. And damn was I right.
If there was an award for the best self fulfilling prophecies in history than this one would win it, at least maybe in a slow year. We all know I am not on the short list for the Nobel prize, nor a Grammy Emmy or anything of the sort but most accurate self fulfilling prophecies of 2018? If it existed, it would be mine. I had fulfilled my dream to move abroad, reignited a love for teaching and by the end of the year surpassed my original goal of visiting a different country every month (though there was some leeway here due to a hold on my passport during the residence visa process but shh we don’t talk about that, I visited a few extra places you know to make up for the interest in time lost) the only thing left on that list was to make friends, maybe if I was lucky someone would wind up in love.
Anyways back to it, one fateful evening after navigating a flurry of requests to teach English for a bottle of wine (of which I am sure I had a better tasting glass in my hand then the one I would have been gifted), I came across a message from a dude with some dimples “dogs or cats?” With this question a series of back and fourths commented and the banter began, then continued. His pictures seemed normal enough, well there was one. One picture with which his nickname was established and is to this day maintained, this one picture made me think this dude he is either hysterical or maybe a bit insane. As it turns out, the guy flaunting the fur coat, drop chain and Starbucks in front of the pool, was indeed hysterical.
To make a long story short, eventually we ended up meeting in Warsaw, at this time Erdem was living in Istanbul and was coming to my stomping grounds for work. After he told me he was getting sent home on the first flight back to Istanbul due to visa issues, and I chugged my wine thinking “my God that was a waste of two months, never doing that again”, he had to come clean as he couldn’t read the bus signs to get to his hotel. I was certain that we absolutely had to meet next to his hotel so I could shoo him off, if needed. We spent the better part of two hours laughing nervously and sipping cocktails providing others the kind of entertainment first dates do, until we wanted to move locations. As I was getting familiar with the city we pulled up google Maps chose a number and then BAM we are going to Ramona bar. As it turns out, we spent the rest of the night doing shots, losing sandals and chatting with all the gay men in the bar. It remains one of our favorite jaunts. Within that week he met my close friends, accepted that I still wear flip flops in October, ate at renovated railroad tracks and old boxing rings and drank cocktails that smoke billowed out of. Ten days of dancing under golden trees swapping a load of sweet nothings came to an end. One question was left on the table, would we truly meet again?
Spoiler Alert: we did. In Copenhagen, as one does. Then came Berlin, and Thanksgiving in Istanbul made three. Then there was Rome, Dublin and a New Years in London added to the list. Trips back and fourth, packing moving boxes and Erdem nestled himself in The Netherlands. Easter in Brussels, and ringing in Erin’s 30th in Oslo wrapped up our first year of adventures ended with 10 countries. Erdem moved to The Netherlands, and in 2019 I accepted a job in the Hague.
We went from living in 2 different countries, to living under the same roof in quarantine together for nearly the entire pandemic (minus a couple dramatic months in the beginning). We navigated COVID together while finding ways to celebrate life. Sneaking away for summer holidays by the sea, going to NYC right before Holland locked down and somehow remaining unscathed on our return. Hiding away in mountains, playing for weekends in Paris and slowing down and enjoying our new home in our new city building a life together. And then on Sunday afternoon in May, as I awoke from a cat nap in the sunny part of our couch he popped the question. And this time, it wasn’t dogs or cats…
a wanderess tale 